Stages of Grief: Denial

REDEEMING THE TEARS

I penned in a previous blog these words: everyone’s loss and grief journey is unique. The journey is not set in stone. Sometimes, the stages of grief overlap. Or some stages may even be omitted altogether. One thing is for certain. Understanding these elements can be very helpful in identifying some of the emotions you may experience.

Dealling with Shock

Last time, we dealt with SHOCK. This is very normal; it means your brain and central nervous system are taking good care of you. Shock is typically experienced as one of the first stages in the grief process, and eventually it wears off. For some, shock recedes very quickly. For others, shock lasts for hours or days. Please remember that there is no right or wrong way to experience shock. Everyone is different.

Denial is Normal

DENIAL is another stage of grief. Most everyone experiences DENIAL in one way or another. Those who have experienced a major loss may have difficulty processing and accepting the loss. Sometimes, you may even forget that the person (or pet) is not around or a part of your life any more. That is what DENIAL as a stage of grief is. It is a very normal part of the grieving process.

Someone explained that “denial is when a loss doesn’t feel real yet.” Oh, it happened, you realize, but it just doesn’t feel like it. Remember that one can experience grief and denial after the loss of other things that are important to us, such as a job, a business, a house, a friendship, or any kind of relationship. In the denial stage of grief, we may struggle to acknowledge the loss. Have you ever felt like your world has been turned upside down? That especially is true if the loss is sudden.

Loss of any kind affects our daily life and even our identity. It is not uncommon for one to experience sadness, guilt, and anger, as well as other emotions through the DENIAL phase of grief.

Characterizing the Denial Stage

How would you characterize the DENIAL STAGE of grief? One might characterize it by any of the following experiences:

Feeling emotionally numb
Feeling confused and disoriented
Forgetting about the loss
Avoiding reminders of the loss
Sleeping more than usual
Staying busy all the time to avoid thinking about the loss
Thinking or saying, “I’m fine,” or “Everything’s fine”
Using substances like alcohol or drugs to avoid facing the reality of the loss

So, how does one cope with Denial?

To begin with, GIVE IT TIME. Without a doubt, time is the most important healer of grief. Each one of us will heal on our own timeline. Healing almost never happens all at once.
As difficult as it may seem, strive to LOOK TOWARD THE FUTURE. Begin with small baby steps that feel manageable.
MAKING A JOURNAL is extremely helpful. Write about your feelings, but never use it in a way that promotes you to stay stuck in the past.
Never be afraid to SEEK HELP. Remember that grief is normal, just as long as we don’t become depressed to the point that we can’t function for a period of time. Never be afraid to seek grief counseling. Grief support groups can help us process our loss and accept it.

Reach Out

Please remember that the act of grieving, though it can include feelings of heartbreak and devastation, is a normal process that is a part of life. It makes no difference whether we lose a mate, a friendship, a job, or a life-long pet. To process through grief takes time. If we can assist you, please don’t hesitate to call us or let’s connect by using our contact form on our website. God bless each and every one of you.