In our modern culture, how often do you hear the term “obedience” voiced in a positive light? It’s a concept that fewer and fewer people seem to endorse. At the risk of sounding, “Get-off-my-lawn-ish,” the affects of this line of thinking are apparent when you step into the average American classroom. (You’re the real MVPs, teachers.) Our culture who idealizes autonomy, freedom, and self has little room for obedience.

High Stakes

Truth be told, obedience is a crucial part of life, and as we get older, the stakes get higher. We know that adults must obey the law or face things like fines or jail time. When it comes to eternity, humans are called to obey God under penalty of eternal separation from Him. “Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him.” Ephesians 5:6

Learning obedience starts in the home during childhood. Ephesians 6:1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” One of the 10 commands that God gave to the Israelites was, “Honor your father and mother.” The Proverbs are filled with pleas for children to listen to their parents’ instruction and correction. Parents, we do our children a disservice when we don’t accept our God-given responsibility to teach them obedience while they are growing up.

Raising Children is Humbling

So, how do we do that? For me, personally, raising children has been one of the must humbling experiences. In terms of embarrassment, nothing quite compares to your toddler having a total meltdown amidst a crowd of quiet spectators. I often wish I had a personal hotline to God, where I could call and get detailed instructions on how to handle each situation. I do know, we parents must study God’s word ourselves, to know what He expects. I do know we can and should frequently pray for wisdom.

The Implications of Training

Proverbs 22 tells us to, “Train up a child in the way he should go.” Training implies that it will be a continuous learning process and that there will probably be a lot of failures along the way. A great verse to have small kids memorize is Colossians 3:20 which says, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” It may not come naturally, but it’s important to acknowledge and praise obedience when we see it. We might even remind them and say, “Why was it a good choice to obey? Yes, because it pleases the Lord.”

But, time and time again they will fail. Why? The same reason you and I fail so often. Punishment is certainly appropriate and necessary when kids disobey (see Proverbs 13:24). But, rather than frequent berating and provoking our kids to anger, this is the perfect opportunity to share the gospel. The goal is perfection, but there is only one who is perfect. Jesus obeyed the Father perfectly, he died, and he rose again so that we can live with God forever. One of the best statements I’ve read on this subject is from Risen Motherhood’s Winfree Brisley. She wrote, “Christ died for us because he knows we can’t obey perfectly. In a gospel-centered conversation about obedience, the takeaway isn’t: don’t mess up again—or else. The takeaway is: no matter how many times you mess up, you will always find love and forgiveness here. When our kids know the security of unconditional love, they can rightly understand that obedience isn’t a way to earn God’s favor—it’s an overflow of the heart that already has it.”